A SONG OF AIR SIKH
(First published in “Centreline” 1966; re-published in “Winged Words” June 1974)(Air – “The Road to the Isles” sung Molto Vivace Con buckets of Brio)
If you’re feeling most uneasy ’cause your stomach’s rather
queasy
If your
face is going greener than the Nile.
When to vomit you’ve decided use the Paper Bag provided
and kindly
do not vomit in the aisle!
CHORUS –
“Oh the
’plane’s flying up at forty thousand feet”
says the
Captain, with a melancholy smile.
“But the
Company’s directed that you’ve got to be ejected
’Cause you
had to go and vomit in the aisle!”
Kindly note, our Stewardesses aren’t employed to clean up
messes,
They are
only there to charm you and beguile.
Use the Bag to spew your face in or a bucket or a basin
but kindly
do not vomit in the aisle!
As our carpets need protection, if you choose the right
direction
if you
guide a sudden rushing up of bile
on the passenger beside you then the Stewardess will hide
you
’Cause you
didn’t go and vomit in the aisle!
Now the Company supplies a complimentary Tranquilliser
if it doesn’t keep you Tranquil for a while
an IATA regulation will permit your strangulation
if we think
you’re going to vomit in the aisle!
FINAL CHORUS –
“Though the
’plane’s flying up at forty thousand feet”
says the
Captain, with a quite Heroic smile
“Someone
else can keep it flying ’cause I rather tired of trying
when I only want to vomit in the
aisle!”
