D'YER WANNA BUY A BATTLESHIP?
(Or – “Ignorance is no Defence…”)(First published in “Centreline” 1966)
1.) When taking-off we lost the tail
Their Air Vice Marshal turned quite pale.
We think he called our new design
A “Polymorphous Aerodyne!”
TSR2 and we don’t care, TSR2 and we don’t care!
TSR2 and we don’t care, we’ve plenty more like that!
2.) Its Weapons system’s savage bite
Was demonstrated while in flight
- the Pilot in a mock attack
leaned out and bit a passing Dak.
3.) In Aerospace, perhaps outclassed
(through learning slow and spending fast)
We’ll hardly likely be out-paced
in fields of Astronomic Waste.
4.) In Africa, (“one man, one Vote
and slit the Opposition’s throat…)
Whilst Governments and Nations fall
We sell impartially to all.
5.) Banana States’ Dictators find
Our Radar gives them peace of mind.
It sweeps beneath their beds each night
to winkle out each Castroite.
6.) Above Arabia’s barren soil
(which oozes loads of lovely Oil)
our Air Force mounts a “Show of Force”
- and always backs the losing horse!
7.) When Tribal warfare escalates
they sell their borrowed DC8s
and scream for Arms – the Yanks decide
which bunch of them’s the “Other Side”.
8.) But since the RAF’s refrained for weeks
from dropping bombs on friendly Sheiks
The time has come, without a doubt
to send the Sales Director out!
9.) And when the order’s in the bag
we’ll thank the Lord and wave the flag
and shout Hurra, and Raise a Cheer
- We’re solvent for another year!
TSR2 and we don’t care, TSR2 and we don’t care!
TSR2 and we don’t care, the Reds are just as bad …
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