“GONE COMPLETELY!”
(Composed prior to 1971; from manuscript held by B. Burke)Oh what a shame when a grand design is an error elemental!
When the Manchester and Sheffield line became the new “Great Central”
is one example graphic, for they had the brave intention
of tapping the London traffic with a “Marylebone extension”
When its boats were burned and its bridges crossed, the wits expressed it neatly
If YOUR cash in the “M oney S unk and L ost” by now has “G one C ompletely!”
From Lancashire to Lincolnshire, where’er the railway went, oh
its dividend in any year was barely three-per-cent, oh
Its Shareholders they wanted more – some action energetic.
Sir Edward Watkin (Bart), for ever sympathetic –
“A London line MIGHT earn a bob, if you’d gamble indiscreetly.”
“Oh YES!” said they “That’s just the job. Let’s build the line completely!”
So the great Steam-shovels raped the earth, without the least compunction.
and nine months later it gave birth to a line from Beighton Junction!
Sir Edward Watkin, long ago he smiled a smile parental
when he saw his brand new bastard oh, he called the line “Great Central”.
To the rest of the Board he turned his head, and told ’em, smiling sweetly
“With the help of your Money (Sunk and Lost) I’ve fathered the Gone Completely!
And that’s no joke for we’re stony broke and that is the true position
but we’ll fight like mad and it’s just too bad if we lose to the competition!”
and the people cried with a broken heart – “That isn’t what you told us!”
“Oh ho!” said he “I’m a Bold Bad Bart, and you’re just the poor shareholders!
Oh no. In ME you put your trust – (though rather indiscreetly)
and though our line is going bust – it hasn’t gone completely!
For you can see what I have seen, our engines, bright and shining
Great Central engines, verdant green in white and scarlet lining
on fine expresses, shining clean. At least there’s no denying
although your Money’s Sunk and Lost – it sank with Colours flying!
Upon a Railway all our own, our trains are singing sweetly
from Manchester to Marylebone indeed we’ve Gone Completely!”
+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
For you who hear me sing a song, it’s a “Pleasure” penitential,
so I’d better not go on too long, or like on the old “Great Central”
our Doctor Beeching here will frown, then I will “Get the Axe”, oh
he’ll “Shut me up” and “Cut me down” and tear up all my tracks, oh,
for it never paid a Dividend, though its trains THEY sang most sweetly …
Think kindly of THAT line, my friends, for now it’s GONE COMPLETELY!
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