PICKING UP SOME TIME
(Composed prior to 1971; from manuscript held by B. Burke)We’re to work the Glasgow sleeper, so we’re waiting in the Bay.
Up comes the Station Foreman with some news for us – Hooray.
“It’s passing Stafford, little late. But still I know you’ll cope.
Control is sure you’ll ‘Pick up time!” I told him “Not an ’ope”
“But you’ll ’AVE to get a move on!” said the Gaffer, overawed,
“For the CHAIRMAN’s on the Sleeper!” I said “STUFF the bloody Board
And the bloody-soddin’ Chairman. You can stuff ’im SIDEWAYS, mate.
It aint MY fault his soddin’ Sleeper’s forty minutes late!
I’ve to sod him off to Glasgow with this crummy little ‘Scot’?
With soddin’ ‘Seaforth Highlander’? The bloody engine’s shot!
If I get her over sixty then she’ll likely shed a rod,
I’d rather shed the chairman – you can tell ’im so, by God!
And if they want us ‘Pick up time’ we’ll ’ave to ‘get the road’
And they’ll never clear the ‘Postal’ … And what’s our soddin’ load?
Ay? FOUR ’UNDRED SODDIN’ TONS!! You must be soddin’ drunk!
You can ’ardly move your bowels with THIS heap of steamin’ junk…!!”
… But he’d sodded off. Poor old man! I think I’d knocked him flat.
Then Tom, my Fireman, said to me, “She’s not as bad as that.
We could pick up twenty minutes if you’d coax her up a bit
’cos I’m right tonight for navvy-ing; I’m feeling pretty fit”
(Oh ain’t it splendid, being young, with energy to burn.)
I turned to him and said to him “Young Tom, you’ll never learn.
We should have a ‘Coronation’, not a battered little ‘Scot’ –
- Though even ‘Seaforth Highlander’ could ’ump that little lot.
We could pick up FORTY minutes, but what would your Missis do
if she found out, to ‘Pick up time’ I’d gone and knackered you?
and also, speaking frankly, lad, I’M ’ardly in my prime.
There’s nothing in the Rule Book says we’ve GOT to ‘Pick up time’.”
But Tom looked kind of ’opeful - “Can’t we try it, all the same …?”
(I must say this for that young Tom, although he’s Dim, he’s Game!)
So I said “You keep her boiling, and I’ll flog her once again ……
Buck-up, you silly bugger - here comes our soddin’ train!”
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