THE LITANY OF IATA
(First published in “Centreline” April 1965; composed 1964)
P. Dearly beloved brethren, we are gathered here together
to praise the name of IATA, the International Air Transport
Association. R.
Praise be his name.
P. Patron of Civil Aviation, Commercial Undertakings and
the British Overseas Airways
Corporation. R. Praise be his name.
ANTHEM - The Great
IATA, praise his name, the Lord of all the Air,
Conveniently
takes the blame for every raise in fare.
P. Who feedeth the masses? R.
The Gentle IATA.
P. In Economy classes? R. The Thrifty IATA.
P. With cheeses like putty? R.
The Stoic IATA.
P. And half a jam butty? R. The Spartan IATA.
P. Who flies out the "Tommies? R.
The Martial IATA.
P. Who spurneth the Commies? R.
The Yankee IATA.
P. But Hey diddle diddle R. Forgetful IATA
P. Forgot about Fidel! R. Regretful IATA.
P.
When thou shalt becometh holy he shalt multiply all thy ways
R. Praise be his name.
P.
For he comforteth the lowly and embraceth even Skyways.
R. Praise be his name.
P. Should thou obey his every wish. R.
Obey the Golden Rule
P. Thou shalt become a Tiny Fish. R.
In one enormous Pool.
P.
With Holy Saint Bealine R. At one with IATA
P.
Saints Bo-ack and Bealine R. At one with IATA
P.
Saint Bena, Saint Bealine R. At one with IATA
P. St. SAS
and St. Bealine R. At one with IATA
P.
St. Klemm and St. Bealine R. At one with IATA
P.
St. LOT and St. Bealine R. At one with IATA
P. Aeroflot and St. Bealine R.
At one with IATA
P.
Finnair and St. Bealine R. At one with IATA
P.
The late Brendan Bealine R. At one with IATA
P.
And Saint Middle E Line R. At one with IATA
R. Praise
be that Heavenly Host!
P. And thou shalt fly with such as these. R. Uniting every Nation
P. In fleets and fleets of DC3s R. And just one Constellation.
P. Or one
DC7 R. And forty Dakotas
P. A BAC
One-eleven R. And forty Dakotas
P. And
dollops and dollops R. And forty Dakotas
P. Of
Convair Metrollops R. And forty Dakotas
P. A
second-hand Viscount R. And forty Dakotas
P. Obtained
at a discount R. for forty Dakotas
P. Or so
it’s reported R. for forty Dakotas
P.
From British Assorted.
P. Should thou scorn the great
IATA, miserable sinners and faliahs
R. He shalt
perish thine every Charter and wither thy Midland Dahlias
P. He shalt
set against thee every man; lay, clerical and secular
R. He shalt
cast thee into exterior Darkness, London (Gatwick) London (Stansted) yea even
unto London (Benbecula)
All. Spare us oh merciful
IATA!
P. May the F.A.A. please thee, the Fifth Freedom free
thee, IASO pray for thee and thy Taxpayer pay for thee.
ALL. FOR EVER, FOR EVER.
THE LITANY OF IATA
(As re- published in “Winged Words”
September 1974)P. Dearly beloved brethren, we are gathered here together to praise the name of IATA, the International Air Transport
Association. R. Praise be his name.
P. Patron of Civil Aviation, Commercial Undertakings and the British Overseas Airways
Corporation. R. Praise be his name.
ANTHEM - The Great IATA, praise his name, the Lord of all the Air,
Conveniently takes the blame for every raise in fare.
P. Who feedeth the masses? R. The Gentle IATA.
P. In economy classes? R. The Thrifty IATA.
P. With cheeses like putty? R. The Stoic IATA.
P. And half a jam butty? R. The Spartan IATA.
P. Who flies out the “Tommies”? R. The Martial IATA.
P. Who spurneth the Commies? R. The Yankee IATA.
P. But Hey diddle diddle R. Forgetful IATA
P. Forgot about Fidel! R. Regretful IATA.
TOGETHER – In Havanna shall Cubana suffer excommunication.
P. Accursed be they.
TOGETHER – For they sought the vain Ilyushin and forsook the Constellation.
P. Accursed be they.
P. When thou shalt become holy he shall multiply all thy ways
R. Praise be his name.
P. For he comforteth the lowly and embraceth even Skyways.
R. Praise be his name.
P. Shouldst thou obey his every wish R. Obey the Golden Rule
P. Thou shalt become a Tiny Fish R. In one enormous Pool.
P. With Holy Saint Bealine R. At one with IATA
P. Saints Bo-ack and Bealine R. At one with IATA
P. Saint Bena, Saint Bealine R. At one with IATA
P. St. SAS and St. Bealine R. At one with IATA
P. St. Klemm and St. Bealine R. At one with IATA
P. St. LOT and St. Bealine R. At one with IATA
P. Aeroflot and St. Bealine! R. At one with IATA
P. Finnair and St. Bealine R. At one with IATA
P. The late Brendan Bealine R. At one with IATA
P. And Saint Middle E Line R. At one with IATA
R. Praise be that Heavenly Host!
P. And thou shalt fly with such as these R. Uniting every Nation
P. In fleets and fleets of DC-3s R. And just one Constellation.
P. Or one DC7 R. And forty Dakotas
P. A BAC One-eleven R. And forty Dakotas
P. And dollops and dollops R. And forty Dakotas
P. Of Convair Metrollops R. And forty Dakotas
P. A second-hand Viscount R. And forty Dakotas
P. Obtained at a discount R. for forty Dakotas
P. Or so it’s reported R. for forty Dakotas
P. From British Assorted.
P. Should ye scorn the great IATA, miserable sinners and faliahs*
R. He shalt perish your every Charter and wither your Midland Dahlias
P. He shalt set against ye every man; lay, clerical and secular
R. He shalt cast ye into exterior Darkness, London (Gatwick) London (Stansted) yea even unto London (Benbecula).
ALL. Spare us oh merciful IATA!
P. May the F.A.A. please thee, the Fifth Freedom free thee, IASO pray for thee and thy Taxpayer pay for thee.
ALL. FOR EVER, FOR EVER. AMEN.
(* thus in MSS)
[EDITOR’S NOTE. When publishing this poem in “Winged Words”, I aimed to restore it to its original form including lines 15 to 18 which were omitted from the “Centreline” version (in retrospect, I believe they should have been introduced by “P” and “R” not by “TOGETHER” and “P”); and also to correct a number of grammatical errors especially in the archaic verb forms. I see however that I omitted to correct “shalt” in lines 46 to 48, which should correctly be “shall”.]
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