THE SULTAN OF STOKE
(Composed prior to
1971; from manuscript held by B. Burke)[AUTHOR’S NOTE: I notice this piece “The SULTAN of STOKE” which I abandoned, simply because it would be too technical for a general audience it has POSSIBILITIES though for a more knowledgeable audience.]
Oh the Notty is a line that no-one knows
and you’ve never heard of us I don’t suppose?
Long ago we’d a million laughs
as we all went potty on the old North Staffs.
But we Hip-hoorayed and raised a cheer
as we all got knotted on the North Staffordshire!
On that nervous system shocks abound
it was like being chickens with a Fox around.
“Let’s share our Traffic” said the “Premier Line”.
“Oh, you scratch my back and I’ll scratch mine”.
We haven’t yet worked out what’s the catch
- but when Crewe itches, oh how we scratch!
For hip hooray, it’s another year
and we ain’t got eaten on the North Staffordshire.
We’ve a wedded wife, though she’s gone to Pot
she’s black and ugly but she’s all we’ve got.
and every other railway we’ll prevent
from hopping into bed with Stoke-on-Trent.
The Midland may be rich, my dear,
but remember you’re married to the North Staffordshire!
Our life was a constant nervous twitch
though we never got eaten we never grew rich
and then
we all lived happily for ever. Amen.
For it’s cost me a mint for to make you mine
and I’m such a jealous little railway line
you’re a flighty old cow, but I’m watching you
While you make sheep’s eyes at the Gee Double Yuu. (“G.W.”)
[AUTHOR’S NOTES. Lines 7 & 8: These two lines are a rather nice idea of life on the N.S.R. Line 9: (I’d have to explain “PREMIER LINE” to a general audience …)]
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