“YOUR BONNIE MAY LIE OVER THE OCEAN, MATE, BUT I WANY MY BAGGAGE BACK RIGHT NOW!”
(First published in “Centreline” 1966)1.) My baggage lies over the Ocean
My baggage lies over the Sea
And I’ll raise such a fuss and commotion
I’ll terrify B.O.A.C.
Bring back, bring back, oh bring back my baggage to me!
2.) My trousers they’ve traced to Karachi
My shirts, so they think, to Bahrain
While I’m getting so itchy and scratchy
that my friends have begun to complain.
3.) I think I heard one of ’em mutter
“We’re checking again in Bangkok
but we’ve found nothing else in Calcutta
but a Japanese gentleman’s sock.”
4.) I’m calmly considering suing
for it seems that my “Terylene” suit
was rescued when nearly a ruin
from a second-hand shop in Beirut.
5.) In Lagos, some Lady of fashion
is rather eccentrically dressed
I will swear (with excusable passion)
in MY thermal insular vest!
6.) Is it spite, inattention to duty
or merely a matter of luck
that a bootee is sent to Djibouti
while its partner is sent to Tobruk?
7.) And I think you’ll agree it’s a pity
(Though it may have been helpfully meant
That my coat is in Mexico City
While I am in Burton-on-Trent.
8.) BUT WHY ARE MY PANTS IN DJAKARTA?
No wonder I’m making a fuss!
My trip, might I state for a starter,
was Manchester – Burton … BY BUS!
Bring back, bring back – OH BRING BACK MY BAGGAGE TO ME!
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